Friday, October 07, 2005

Ulan Colluphid 's Newest Blockbuster: Who is this Wolfie Person Anyways?

It's after 2am and Terry will be in my bedroom in a few hours and wake daddy up. But I just can't seem to sleep tonight and I need to do something to help me sleep. Most of the time, writing about why I can't sleep helps. So that is what this is about. And as you're gonna learn, I can't seem to sleep most of the time.

We met at work. Wolfie had just started and I had been working for at this job for a while. For some reason, the person she was teamed up with to show her the ropes didn't seem to be paying attention or giving her any kind of help on helping her learn the job, so having soft spot and wanting to be "Mr. Helper", I basiclly told her to tag along with me and I would show her the ropes as it were. Now those that know me, know of my sense of humor and how when I get someone to laugh once, I want to get them to laugh a few dozen more times, and with Wolfie, it seemed pretty easy to do. And her sense of humor fit in with mine, so WHAMO! We clicked and hit it right off. I had finally made a friend in Rapid City after nearly 2 years of having no one that I could say was a good friend.

Most of the time when we talked at work, we talked about life in general and such. Griped about our jobs and talked about old friends from childhood. It was like I was hanging with one of the guys from the Outback, and that made me feel more at home. I had been starting to feel home sick since my wife had left and it was just me and Terry. But Wolfie made a lot of those feelings go away. I started finding myself wondering when her and I would be working next. At this point I really didn't have any kind of romantic interest in her. It was just so much fun to work with her, I wanted that feeling everytime I went in! And I think she started feeling the same way, because she went out of town for a week, and I was kind of at a loss at work. When she got back I had said something about it in passing and she asked me why I didn't just call her. Well, she was busy and I didn't want to bug her. Which she promtly told me she wasn't THAT busy and could have easily talked to me on the phone for a good part of the day if we wanted to talk that long.

But dfast forward a few weeks. I've had a tough week, Wolfie has as well, and Terry is with her mom for the weekend. I ready for some fun. So I stop into work to see Wolfie and see if she's up for anything this weekend. Well, she's been having a stressful week as well and is planning on having some friends over to her place for a drinking party. HOT DAMN!!! A drinking party! AN excuse for me to buy expensive beer and tell bad ass jokes. I was in. NOw believe it or not, I didn't have her phone number or her address. I had never really thought of asking her for it at first, but now was the time to ask since I was going to be going to her place. So We exchanged our info and figured out when for me to come over and all was set. I showed up at her place, met some of her friends and hung out all night. In fact we outlasted everyone else and ended up in her kitchen playing a drinking game that neither of us won cuz we got so into talking. Getting to know each other. How awsome is that? (Yeah I hear the one dude going "Why didn't you fuck her?!?!" Hey pal, shut up! Sit down and listen to Uncle Mobster ok?)

So after that and making a few more friends through her, I decided to have a party of my own. I invited my new friends and Wolfie as well and did a BBQ. Now Wolfie couldn't go to my first BBQ, which kinda sucked but she had to work and it was understandable. So I made sure to schedule one that she could go to. But there was a little hitch. I had to work till 10pm at the radio station, so it couldn't start till I got home at 10:30, which seemed to be just fine for my new friend and Wolfie. So I worked, then the time came to play.

The group arrived and before things got started I told them I needed to go to the store and get some stuff for the BBQ since I hadn't gotten a chance to earlier in the day. So we all piled into the car they came in and off we went to Albertson's! Wolfie and I in the back just being ourselves and singing and bopping to the tunes. It was Tonic playing, "If You Could Only See" was the song. I remember that song because Wolfie and I were singing along to it. And this night was gonna be different from the other times her and I worked or hung out.

So we got back, and the BBQ started. We all drank and talked and watched some questionable movies on DVD. Most of the party goers had crashed and some had gone next door to my neighbor's to visit with them. Wolfie and I were the last hold outs at my place watching movies. After one of these movies was done, we just started talking again. As we started to talk about issues of romance in our lives, I could tell she was holding something back and I asked her if she would want to talk about it with me. I like to listen. She said yeah and we talked. I listened and I felt for her. She felt better getting somethings out. Now at this point, we still didn't know what was gonna happen. We had no clue! She said nothing to me about liking me or anything. Her and I together NEVER came up!

But later, Wolfie and I were both ready to crash for the night and a few folks who were also crashing were still next door, so I told them that the backdoor was opena dnthe Wolfie and I were gonna go to sleep. I offered her my bed and I would sleep on the floor but she said we could share the bed, it would be cool with her. Now remember class, I still had NO IDEA of what was gonna happen and this was NEVER PLANNED!

SO there we are, lying in bed both fully clothed and sweating since this was the middle of summer and my AC was down stairs and didn't have enough BTUs to do the upstairs. But we got to talking again. And we ended up getting on the subject of the opposite sex. That is when I almost let out something that she could possibly take the wrong way. Well, I stopped myself and kept prodding me, literally prodding me, to tell her. She even started to tickle me! Next thing I know.. well, you can guess what happened from there.

But that is not the reason for this post..... (Had ya fooled huh??)

The reason is to tell you why I pine for Wolfie. What it is about her that makes me feel so sad when I think about her sometimes. How I want to freaking bust up shit cuz I can't be with her. Why I am so deeply, passionatly in love with this woman!

In our conversations, Wolfie has told me the reason she thinks guys like her is that she's like a guy herself, but with women parts. Well, yeah, I'm not gonna lie. That is defiently one reason I love her. But there is a lot more. And I've tried so hard in my personal journal (Which all of this has already been covered in much more detail) to explain to her and myself why I love her so much. Well, I know why I love her, but putting into words sometimes is so damn hard. It's her spirit. She so damn passionate about what she belives in. How kinda she is. She actually bought me a 200 minute tracfone card for my phone when I was short on cash. When I asked her why she told me "Because I like talking to you." And she smiled that smile I see in my dreams. I swear it was given to her by an angel. When she wants to be, she can be as gentle as a kitten, and as firece as a lion. She tough when she has to be but so damn easy going the rest of the time. There was one time (At band camp? NO!) we were spending a weekend together, our last one in fact, and I had told her that the entire weekend was about her and nothing else. Well, I did have to work that weekend, but thankfully, it was at the radio station and she could come with me and hang out. But during a break between remotes, we walked around main street in Rapid City. And endined up at the Firehouse Brewing Company for lunch. We sat outside and had a great meal and she said, Good comapny and good food made the day for her. I just sat there looking at her, as I had a habit of doing, and she had a habit of looking back at me and say something like "WHAT?! What are you looking at?" and then smile at me. I couldn't help myself. I had been doing it ever since that first night. She was so damn beautiful. Her hair, her eyes, her lips, DAMN IT! I couldn't help but be mesmerised by her. All I wanted to do was take her and make love to her. RIGHT THERE! But I think the R.C.P.D. as well as the owners would take objection to that though, so I didn't.

But that is just one of the times I remember being with her and all my problems didn't seem as bad. Life was better, home was as far away as before. The world could be ending I could have cared less. She was there. And the fact that my daugter Terry immediately took to her was impressive to me. How well they got along. And how protective of Terry, Wolfie got the more time she spent with her. Needless to say. I was in heaven.

These if for no other reasons is why I am so in love with this woman, yet I can't be with her for now. I have a picture of her sitting here on my desk and I find I can't bring myself to look at it sometimes for the simple fact, I get so damn upset that I can't see her. In a very short time, this woman has taken over my soul and I have no control of it. She's gonna be in me for a very long time, and I'm really hoping to see her soon. In an earlier post I talked about a dream I had about "The One That Got Away". I really don't want that to be the end result of things with Wolfie. If there is a God, or somekind of omnipotent being in the universe, please let me have this one thing that would make me happier then anything. Well almost anything. My daughters are right up there. But her love is worth so much to me, I couldn't put a price on it.


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